I’ve learned something this month.  You can either be a professional or a fan, but not both at the exact same heart-beat.  Being a professional requires a certain amount of detachment as you attempt to build the best art possible.  Fandom is about embracing the emotion that said art can inspire, the awe of the excellent, and the raw emotion of what you detest.

Want to buy a watch, Tin Man?

I’ve struggled with both roles this month as I’ve worked as Associate Developer for MET: Vampire The Masquerade from By Night Studios and then contributing writer for the V20 supplement Rites of Blood from The Onyx Path Publishing.  Learning the difference between personal taste and what is best for the book is a tricky path to walk.

Sometimes, being a professional means that you can’t comment and argue on a fan thread that you would love to give your personal opinion on because that kills the fun of the thread.  It also isolates you from your friends.  There is something exciting in your life and you simply can’t discuss it because of business.  It becomes awkward.  No one wants to be “That Guy.”

I’m still learning how to walk the walk.  I’ll stumble.  Hopefully without being too much of a dumbass.

One of the ways I’ve managed to cope is by playing Werewolf: The Apocalypse.   I didn’t quite grok this game when it first came out twenty years ago.  My friend Michael Dyer loved it from the start.  I see his wisdom now.

The heart is quite strong if it is properly maintained.  Speaking of which, this is Otter.  There is no love like puppy love.

All the bitches love me, yo!

This little guy has changed my life and he’s only been around a week.  He sleeps at my feet when I am writing.  And he terrorizes my wife when she is playing video games.

Friends have transitioned out of my life.  New ones have blessed my time in this world.  Life is amazing.  I miss fiction writing, but I am literally doing the very thing I dreamed of when I was 13.