Author’s Note: This story was first published in Horror Carousel #6 (2008). You can now find it in The Vampire Megapack from Wildside Press.
by Jason Andrew
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
It has been three months since my last confession. I’m sure you remember it. It was the night I died. You were the one that gave me Last Rites as I lay dying naked on the street shivering in a pool of my own blood.
Your voice was the last thing I heard before my heart stopped. And it was your voice that stirred me from the ground at my funeral. You were my death and rebirth.
Lying in the ground I listened to my mother and sisters crying. I wondered if they knew the things you did to me.
The sweat on your trembling body is rancid. Funny, I used to shake just like that before our special lessons. I wanted to be pure in God’s love. You taught me all about love, didn’t you?
Don’t cry, Father. We won’t kill you. Not yet.
I have to confess my sins. Confession frees the soul, you used to say. Of course, some might think I don’t have a soul now. That’s the funny thing. You need a soul to burn in hell or ascend to heaven. I’m immortal in this body. My soul shattered. I have nothing left to lose. There’s freedom in that. The only Hell I’ll ever know is on this earth.
Don’t look at me like that!
It was your fault that I was chosen after all. You taught me Latin after school, made me believe in the Sacraments, and you administered my first Eucharist. You taught me other things in our special sessions. You showed me that I was full of sin. You were careful enough to keep me a virgin, but that left two other places for you to feed your carnal urges, didn’t it? The urges that you preached being against God’s will.
You wouldn’t walk me home that night despite my whimpering pleas. Why would you? I was Greasy Grace. Who in the world would want me, except for you?
It turns out that someone else was watching me during my lonely night; someone who had a use for a sinful and wicked girl. He waited for me in the shadows after our last session and he brought friends. They waited until just the right moment when no one was watching. They fell upon me like wolves. They tore at my clothing and bit into my flesh. My body shivered.
I was terrified and I cried out for you, thinking that you could have protected me if only you would have deigned to bring me home like I had asked. Suddenly, they stopped as if commanded by some invisible force and then their leader Joshua stepped out of the shadows.
You can see him over there by the candles. He’s the one with the long hair and the devilish smile. Joshua has lived more than two thousand years. That’s more than you or I could ever imagine. And he picked me.
At the moment of death, he unbuttoned his shirt and cut a swath across his chest. I could barely see him then; I clung to life. Despite the pain, I wanted him to love me. “You have a choice. This night I can leave you and you will turn into legend. A tale others will tell for many years. Or, you may drink of me and live forever.”
What can I say? You trained me to swallow what older men put in my mouth. As I lay dying, he kissed me gently upon my lips, my first real kiss.
As I mentioned, I didn’t awaken until the funeral a few days later. If I hadn’t been disoriented from being enclosed in a casket, I would have killed all of you right then, but I had to wait. Your eulogy was very inspiring. One by one, I heard all of the people who ignored me while I was alive wish they had more time with me.
One of my oldest friends Alice cried. We had been friends in junior high. We both loved school and wanted to be doctors. Eventually, she discovered boys while I remained interested in studying. She became too good to be seen with a loser like me.
What do a high school clique and a vampire gang have in common? Both are organized by the pack principle. There are alphas, betas, and omegas. Every one knows their place. I have always been the omega; the ugly girl with no breasts, pimples, glasses, and a fat ass. The one other girls instantly shun for not wearing the right clothing or having a picture perfect haircut. The omega is at the bottom despite her best efforts.
It didn’t seem to matter to me though, I had a life. I escaped into books. I paid attention during class. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to afford the best college, but I knew I could get a scholarship somewhere and escape.
It turns out that there isn’t a Narnia or Middle Earth. Neverland is just an endless stream of nights stretching into eternity. But there is magic in the world. I’m living proof, so to speak. My skin has cleared and I see better than any human. My nose is a bit smaller, perkier. My ass is firm and shapely. Suddenly, I have breasts. I bet the boys at school would love me now.
I did a bit of reading and research. Heh! Living or dead, I can’t escape the library. Once vampires were hideous creatures. In nature, many predators lure their prey from surprise. What’s surprising about a monster who’s ugly? But we adapted, taking a clue from the movies we became enchanting fantasies.
I’m not the omega anymore. All of us are beautiful and deadly, so that’s nothing special. Unfortunately, you don’t get smarter after the change. It’s a pity for most, but for me I’ve discovered that I have a talent for mischief and mayhem.
Alice was my first kill. It was easy enough to get her alone. Her parents are always out-of-town. All I had to do was ask for help with the boosters club and she invited me into her home. She didn’t even recognize me. I toyed with her for a while until she realized who I was and then she start begging for forgiveness. It was pathetic.
I left her face intact. I wanted to leave her mother something to remember her by. I dragged her up the stairs and washed away the blood and dressed her in white, which was funny because Alice hadn’t been a virgin since our freshman year. I wish I could have seen that Old Bat’s face. When we dug her up three days later, Alice’s mind was gone. She survived the transformation, but her mind disintegrated. She’s not all that useful, but she follows orders. And if we remind her to wash herself, she can be very pretty. I was a little disappointed; I had so much I wanted to do to her.
And now it comes to this moment. Did you know that vampires have Sacraments too? Some rituals have been lost over the centuries, but Joshua knows some of them. We pieced together what we needed. We found a ritual to unmake the world.
Let’s run down the checklist, shall we? A desecrated church. A hero’s heart. A pentagram of salt. All we need now is one dirty girl turned while she was a virgin and the seed of the fallen priest that tainted her. Then the Great Barrier that protects this rotting world will fall and darkness will spread across the lands. And the Old Ones will return. And if you thought high school was cruel, wait until they get their turn.
So close your eyes and enjoy this final gift. I’m dead down there so I won’t feel a thing, but you will. Ignore the chanting, concentrate on the last pleasure anyone will ever feel. And when you are done, so is the world. Do you want to know the best thing about being reborn is? You get a new name. My pack named me Shiva, and I have become the destroyer of worlds.