I wrote the first draft of the synopsis for Abigail’s Dragon. I’ve never written a synopsis before. At least not one that sold. I know I need to wordsmith it a bit. I’m curious if anyone of you who have written a synopsis before has any feedback. Am I giving too much detail? Not enough? I know this is a pitch and so I tried writing it that way. I could use some advice.

ABIGAIL’S DRAGON – SYNOPSIS
by Jason Andrew

Abigail Harrington is an observant thirteen year old girl that happily prefers books to the company of others, despite the concern of her family. Her gregarious older brother Bill seems to live only to tease her. Her passionate feminist mother Irene is determined to bring Abigail out of her shell. After a long move across several states with her family, Abigail just wants to be left alone.

As the Harringtons are moving into their new home, Abigail meets one of her new neighbors, Mrs. Aithne. She senses something strange about this kindly elderly woman and is very curious. According to Abigail’s father, Mrs. Aithne is considered something of an urban legend. Appalled, Irene encourages Abigail to make friends with Mrs. Aithne.

Several weeks later, Bill and Abigail receive a visit from the neighborhood bully named Trunk. They are saved from his attentions at the last moment by Mrs. Aithne. Surprisingly, Trunk is very scared of Mrs. Aithne and quickly runs away. Charmed, Abigail accepts Mrs. Aithne’s invitation to tea and the two quickly become friends. Visiting Mrs. Aithne quickly becomes a part of Abigail’s summer routine.

Trunk has not forgotten about Abigail and ambushes her on the way to visit Mrs. Aithne. Abigail is saved once again by Mrs. Aithne, who accidentally reveals her glowing red eyes and fierce looking claws. Mrs. Aithne quickly returns to normal and pretends that nothing unusual happened. Trunk is taken to juvenile hall for her attack upon Abigail and when asked tells everyone that Mrs. Aithne is a monster.

Frightened, Abigail pretends that nothing happened and avoids Mrs. Aithne until her mother reveals that Mrs. Aithne is dying. Determined, Abigail confronts Mrs. Aithne who then reveals that she is indeed a dragon and needs her help. Decades ago, she was poisoned by the dark wizard Nixx Ignatius. Only her magic has kept Mrs. Aithne alive, but she fears that she will not live long enough to raise her hatchling. Nixx Ignatius wishes to take the hatchling as a slave to bolster his own magic.

Abigail is delighted to know the truth and promises to help her friend however she can. Mrs. Aithne agrees to teach Abigail magic so that one day she can protect her hatchling. Abigail apprentices herself to the dragon and learns much about the secret history of the world.

“This world wasn’t always like this. There were ages of terror and mystery and wonder. In the void before creation, there was darkness. And in that darkness, ancient creatures lived. Some called them spirits. Others named them demons. The dragonkin called them the Old Ones. This world was blessed with potent magic then. It was why we migrated from our dimension. We weren’t the only ones. The Old Ones were forced off the world eons ago, but they could on occasion visit the earth and cause untold problems. A little over two thousand years ago, someone or something erected the Great Barrier,” Mrs. Aithne explained. “The Great Barrier is a mystical energy field that blocks most mystical access to the Earth. Think of it like a giant net. The large fish are captured, but the tiny plankton are allowed free movement. And so, there is evil in the world, but it’s rarely harmful. Those of us dragonkin that remained behind could not go home without shattering the Great Barrier so we all agreed to live among you. Quietly.”

Abigail learns to juggle school, magic, and keeping everything a secret from her inquisitive family. In her first week at school, she becomes friends with two fellow students that also have an interest in dragons named Teddy Rector and Clara Chung.

Mrs. Aithne escorts Abigail to the Seattle Underground, a place where magical creatures exchange services and introduces her to her mystical barrister, Mr. Borri and discovers that Mrs. Aithne is formally making Abigail her heir and for a birthday present gives Abigail an amulet that help her develop her magical abilities.

When Abigail returns home, she is caught unawares by a surprise party. Clara and Teddy worked together to invite a number of her new friends. Irene is quite pleased that Abigail is making friends. She is even more surprised when Bill gives Abigail an expensive, antique Gibson Girl doll as a present. Bill explains that he bought it from a creepy old guy at the mall that was closing his shop. Abigail is so happy that she overlooks the strange feeling she has about the doll.

Abigail struggles to divide her time between her friends, school work, and magic. Teddy becomes suspicious about Mrs. Aithne, especially after Trunk returns to school and bullies him to stay away from the monster.
Clara and Abigail have a sleepover and bring the Gibson Girl doll to show Clara’s mother. Clara has been worried about sleeping in her own bed since she caught an old bald man trying to break into her house. Oddly, her family was sleeping and could not be woken. Clara awakens again to discover the old man outside her window, but he is not trying to break into her house, but her neighbor’s. She awakes up Abigail and they try to warn the Chung family, but are stopped by the animated Gibson Girl doll. The doll attacks them, but Abigail manages to destroy it with her magic. Abigail glances outside and realizes that the old creepy man was trying to break into Mrs. Aithne’s house.

The next morning, Abigail and Mrs. Aithne explain to Teddy and Clara the situation. Clara is amazed because she had been having dreams about her dead grandmother telling her to save the baby dragon. Teddy is quite happy to discover that there is real magic in the world. Mrs. Aithne reveals that the man that sold the doll to Bill and the man that Clara saw was the wizard known as Nixx Ignatius and that he had cast some sort of spell over them to befuddle her perceptions. Abigail, Clara, and Teddy swear to help the dragon save her baby.

Mrs. Aithne continues to teach Abigail magic. She also teaches Clara how to communicate better with her grandmother. Teddy is disappointed that he doesn’t have a special power, but Mrs. Aithne points out that he is smarter than most and if he used his brains to figure out where Nixx was hiding, he would be helping them out a great deal. Teddy discovers that Nixx is hiding in a house sold to him by Trunk’s adopted parents.

On Halloween, Mrs. Aithne prepares their counterattack. While Teddy and Clara manage a haunted house for the local children, Abigail and Mrs. Aithne slip into the Dreamlands to attack the black wizard. Using information Teddy gathered, Clara convinces her grandmother to break the protection circle of the wizard so that their friends can defeat him in the Dreamlands. Mrs. Aithne and Abigail defeat Nixx Ignatius casting him into the Dreamsea. However, the battle shatters Mrs. Aithne’s health and the others are forced to take her to the hospital, despite their worries that they will discover that she is a dragon.

Mrs. Aithne uses the last of her magic to hide her true form and to say goodbye to Abigail.

After Mrs. Aithne’s funeral, Abigail, Clara, Teddy and surprising Trunk discover that the dragon had left each of them a large sum of money. Abigail also inherited the house, but in order to legally keep it, she has to maintain the house. Surprisingly, Abigail parents agree to allow her to maintain the house as long as strict rules are followed. Abigail also discovers that Mrs. Aithne made arrangements to help her raise the hatchling in the form of Garnet, a gnome.

Abigail and Garnet watch as the hatchling struggles free from the egg. They introduce him to Teddy and Clara and each of them takes turns watching over him. Garnet informs Abigail that it is her role to name the hatchling. With Teddy’s advice, Abigail chooses the name Chthon.

Distracted with hiding her new baby dragon, Abigail and her friends fail to notice Trunk acting very differently. His school work has improved to the point that he is transferred into their classes. He apologizes to Bill and tries to make amends to Abigail. Teddy realizes that Trunk acting weird. Abigail catches Trunk trying to convince Bill that Mrs. Aithne was a witch. Bill seems half convinced and so Abigail reveals Chthon to her older brother. Bill promises to help them and will avoid Trunk. Teddy realizes that Nixx Ignatius has possessed Trunk, but is too late to warn Bill. Trunk/Nixx gets into a school yard brawl with Bill and breaks his leg before separated.

Chthon starts acting weird around Bill. Unknown to Abigail, Nixx has jumped from Trunk’s body to her brother’s. Using his inside information, Nixx convinces Abigail, Clara, and Teddy to chase Trunk while he leaves with Chthon. Abigail discovers the ruse too late. She goes to Mr. Borri for help, but discovers that Nixx has already wounded him and he is in no shape to fight. Mr. Borri reveals that Nixx plans to sacrifice Apotheosis in order to cast the Apotheosis ritual, which would transform him into an Old One and destroy the Great Barrier.

Determined, Abigail faces Nixx Ignatius in the Dreamlands and defeats him in an epic battle using the amulet, the strength of her friends, and the ghost of Grandma Chung.

Afterwards, Abigail and her friends manage to save Bill and Chthon. Mr. Borri heals Bill’s leg. Chthon says his first words, which is a sign of things to come.