Author’s Note: This story was first published in Daily Bites of Flesh 2011: 365 Days of Horrifying Flash Fiction (Pill Hill Press, November 2010).
by Jason Andrew
Note: Peach Schnapps makes this kind of meat glaze extra-peachy, but feel free to substitute peach nectar or another liqueur or juice. Recommend bottle feeding the baby an hour before cooking.
1 fully cooked baby, about 7 to 9 pounds
1 jar (10 ounces) peach preserves
1 1/2 tablespoons Creole mustard, spicy mustard, or Dijon
2 tablespoons peach liqueur (Schnapps)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Shave baby’s head and wash.
Snap neck just before putting into the oven, remember to take off diaper.
Bake baby about 18 minutes per pound.
Combine remaining ingredients, stirring until smooth.
Score the baby in a diamond pattern; spoon glaze over, spreading to coat completely.